Picking up clothes that didn't quite make it into the laundry hamper. Making the bed. Cleaning out the cat boxes. Sending a random sweet text message during the day. Leaving a note or card by something that your spouse always uses in the morning, or throughout the day.
How do you show that you love your spouse... in the little things?
A few months back, I started folding and putting my husband's laundry away for him. I work full time, but I still do all of my family's laundry. (Not saying this to brag, just to show something I do in love for my family.) For awhile, I would do my husband's laundry and just leave it, unfolded, in a basket by his side of the bed. In a way, I did do that out of irritation - selfishness, really - and what's funny is that having that basket in our room actually drove me nuts. (I like those things picked up and put away straight away.) It didn't seem to be recognized right away that I was putting his clothes away - but I did notice that other things were being done, in reciprocation. He started cleaning out the litter boxes (not always to my 'standard' but HEY they are done!) and did other little (and big) things around the house that I usually had to nitpick or annoyingly do myself. I didn't ask. He just started doing.
It's the little things.
It made me think of back in the beginning - when we first started dating. I'm sure that some of the things that I have let grate on my nerves or annoy me were there back then, but I saw them as cute or funny or maybe just a little annoying but I let them slide. But over time, we let arguments and annoyances build up this wall or break down the filter which causes more arguments or annoyances - a vicious cycle. Those things tend to be the beginning points of strife or the things that push us away from our spouses and perhaps into the arms (or mind) of another. At some point we stop doing the 'little things' that we did in the dating and courting stages of our relationships... why?
Kids, jobs, stress, health reasons...
How do we get back there?
Just by doing one 'little thing' at a time. And without looking for anything in return.
Try it. And don't give up. (Oh, and make sure the lines of communication are open... in those 'little things', there might be hinderances from past hurts that need to be resolved. TALK - even when it hurts. LISTEN - and don't discount the other person's feelings. MAKE THE NECESSARY CHANGES - which I know isn't easy!)
Something recently that has been on my mind... how often do you pray for your spouse?
I have prayed for mine for a long time. We've been married for 22 years. Until recently, most of those prayers have been unheard by my husband. We've made it a habit to pray for one another *out loud* - whether that be spoken out loud or written in email or text.
I had to tell him last week that one of my long time prayers has been *almost* answered - and that it was difficult to pray for him in the way that he would probably want me to because of those long time prayers.
Let me explain.
Most people know that my husband is a long time drinker of soda. Diet Coke was his drink of choice for longer than I have known him and more recently, he had switched to a diet Mt Dew, Powerade concoction. He drank A LOT of soda. And it was a running joke, of sorts. It was mentioned in his sermons often. Church members would bring him sodas or give him gift cards to buy more soda. What most people wouldn't know is that I have been praying for him - for years - to quit drinking soda, mostly for health reasons. I stopped 'nagging' him about it years ago. I just prayed. He tried stopping a few times and once or twice he would be successful for a few weeks or months, but he always went back to drinking it.
I have also prayed - for years - for him to eat healthy. He is the King of Fast Food and even when he lost a whole lot of weight about 10 years ago, he was still eating fast food - just not the bread or the fries. His lifestyle has always been one on the go - and planning ahead by bringing healthy snacks or a lunch has just not been part of his routine. Even now - our house is right next to the church - he would still get in his car and drive to McDonald's to buy a double cheeseburger instead of eating something at home. I prayed for fast food to taste bad (ask him!) And I just kept praying. Hoping for something to change, because I love him and want him to stay around for a long time!
And so, last week, he texted me and told me that he was heading to the ER... I knew that he had been dealing with some indigestion issues (and tried to *nicely* say something about how to fix them) and the pain had finally got to the point where he couldn't stand it anymore. The doctors ordered bloodwork and a UA - which all came back normal. After doing an exam and speaking with him, the doctor determined that he has gastritis and/or GERD. Thankfully nothing more serious. But what corrects those conditions, or at least helps them to get better?
A change in diet.
Hmm...
So... inasmuch as I wanted to pray for the pain to go away - which I did - I thought to myself, "I prayed for this." I prayed for my husband to make changes in his diet. I prayed for him to stop drinking soda.
I prayed for this. Maybe not particularly that he would have severe abdominal pain, but I prayed for something to make him change.
So now, my prayers have changed. I am now praying that he is able to have the strength and willpower to say "No" to that soda or the cheeseburger and fries. Right now things are still healing, so he has a fresh perspective of what bad choices does to him. But I know once the medicine kicks in and he is feeling better, it will be a lot harder to say "No" to the bad choices...
Prayer. Doing the 'little things'. All good steps in making marriage all the more better. Or even great!
Grace and peace,
M
How do you show that you love your spouse... in the little things?
A few months back, I started folding and putting my husband's laundry away for him. I work full time, but I still do all of my family's laundry. (Not saying this to brag, just to show something I do in love for my family.) For awhile, I would do my husband's laundry and just leave it, unfolded, in a basket by his side of the bed. In a way, I did do that out of irritation - selfishness, really - and what's funny is that having that basket in our room actually drove me nuts. (I like those things picked up and put away straight away.) It didn't seem to be recognized right away that I was putting his clothes away - but I did notice that other things were being done, in reciprocation. He started cleaning out the litter boxes (not always to my 'standard' but HEY they are done!) and did other little (and big) things around the house that I usually had to nitpick or annoyingly do myself. I didn't ask. He just started doing.
It's the little things.
It made me think of back in the beginning - when we first started dating. I'm sure that some of the things that I have let grate on my nerves or annoy me were there back then, but I saw them as cute or funny or maybe just a little annoying but I let them slide. But over time, we let arguments and annoyances build up this wall or break down the filter which causes more arguments or annoyances - a vicious cycle. Those things tend to be the beginning points of strife or the things that push us away from our spouses and perhaps into the arms (or mind) of another. At some point we stop doing the 'little things' that we did in the dating and courting stages of our relationships... why?
Kids, jobs, stress, health reasons...
How do we get back there?
Just by doing one 'little thing' at a time. And without looking for anything in return.
Try it. And don't give up. (Oh, and make sure the lines of communication are open... in those 'little things', there might be hinderances from past hurts that need to be resolved. TALK - even when it hurts. LISTEN - and don't discount the other person's feelings. MAKE THE NECESSARY CHANGES - which I know isn't easy!)
<3 <3 <3
Something recently that has been on my mind... how often do you pray for your spouse?
I have prayed for mine for a long time. We've been married for 22 years. Until recently, most of those prayers have been unheard by my husband. We've made it a habit to pray for one another *out loud* - whether that be spoken out loud or written in email or text.
I had to tell him last week that one of my long time prayers has been *almost* answered - and that it was difficult to pray for him in the way that he would probably want me to because of those long time prayers.
Let me explain.
Most people know that my husband is a long time drinker of soda. Diet Coke was his drink of choice for longer than I have known him and more recently, he had switched to a diet Mt Dew, Powerade concoction. He drank A LOT of soda. And it was a running joke, of sorts. It was mentioned in his sermons often. Church members would bring him sodas or give him gift cards to buy more soda. What most people wouldn't know is that I have been praying for him - for years - to quit drinking soda, mostly for health reasons. I stopped 'nagging' him about it years ago. I just prayed. He tried stopping a few times and once or twice he would be successful for a few weeks or months, but he always went back to drinking it.
I have also prayed - for years - for him to eat healthy. He is the King of Fast Food and even when he lost a whole lot of weight about 10 years ago, he was still eating fast food - just not the bread or the fries. His lifestyle has always been one on the go - and planning ahead by bringing healthy snacks or a lunch has just not been part of his routine. Even now - our house is right next to the church - he would still get in his car and drive to McDonald's to buy a double cheeseburger instead of eating something at home. I prayed for fast food to taste bad (ask him!) And I just kept praying. Hoping for something to change, because I love him and want him to stay around for a long time!
And so, last week, he texted me and told me that he was heading to the ER... I knew that he had been dealing with some indigestion issues (and tried to *nicely* say something about how to fix them) and the pain had finally got to the point where he couldn't stand it anymore. The doctors ordered bloodwork and a UA - which all came back normal. After doing an exam and speaking with him, the doctor determined that he has gastritis and/or GERD. Thankfully nothing more serious. But what corrects those conditions, or at least helps them to get better?
A change in diet.
Hmm...
So... inasmuch as I wanted to pray for the pain to go away - which I did - I thought to myself, "I prayed for this." I prayed for my husband to make changes in his diet. I prayed for him to stop drinking soda.
I prayed for this. Maybe not particularly that he would have severe abdominal pain, but I prayed for something to make him change.
So now, my prayers have changed. I am now praying that he is able to have the strength and willpower to say "No" to that soda or the cheeseburger and fries. Right now things are still healing, so he has a fresh perspective of what bad choices does to him. But I know once the medicine kicks in and he is feeling better, it will be a lot harder to say "No" to the bad choices...
<3 <3 <3
Prayer. Doing the 'little things'. All good steps in making marriage all the more better. Or even great!
Grace and peace,
M
