Gee whiz... the word 'discipline' keeps coming up today.
Ugh. Anyone else feel that way about discipline?
As a parent, I feel like I have been a pretty strong disciplinarian. I have relaxed a little in my ways, but I feel that that is because my children have gotten to the point where they don't need constant reminding... and if they want to live in their filth in their rooms, so be it. When the kids were little, I was on them all the time... having four kids, I didn't want them to be annoying to others, or a burden or whatever else my mind thought about others' perceptions of my brood. I was fairly good at disciplining... yet my own discipline was lacking. And sometimes still is.
The past few years, especially, the word 'discipline' has been accompanied by a couple other words... and words that most people shy away from or don't like to think of. Obedience. Submission. God calls us to all of these things, but because we are human, we don't like any of it. I can be good and disciplined in some things, but others? I am severely lacking. I am terrible at doing my daily devotions. I am downright obscenely awful at exercising. I fail miserably at keeping up with friends and loved ones. In some ways I see this as laziness or selfishness, but I also see it in apathy and lack of self discipline.
I have recently changed jobs and with it comes a whole new learning curve of how to maintain my schedule and my household duties and my parental responsibilities. Confession time: I have never worked a full time job (meaning 40 hours a week - 8 hours a day), so this is a new challenge (and one that I am up for.) (Side note: for those of you who knew me 'then' - yes, I did work very long, long days at camp (sometimes up to 18 hours a day for numerous days in a week) but that was only 2 months out of the year and I actually really, really enjoyed that time. But I was also selfish in that I really enjoyed the work and did not pay much attention to my family - and my kids were kinda little then.) Because I am now working from 7:30am to 4pm, I have to change the way I do certain things... I can no longer do last minute grocery shopping before dinnertime - I actually have to have things planned out and sometimes even rely on my kids to get things started (thanks Lily!) I no longer can take my afternoon nap (oh the travesty!) - but as I am thinking about it, I don't really need one (I think) because I think I was just sleeping because I was bored. I will have to figure out when to do my housecleaning chores... I used to do them on Friday mornings, but I can no longer do that because I am working on Fridays. I have spoiled my family a bit, not making them do chores, so that might be something that happens... but in reality I just hope that my family will start picking up after themselves (haha).
One of the nice things about my new job is that even though I am working, I have some time to do things and get things done while I am at work. I have been doing my bible study (catching up mostly!) and a little reading (I need to go to the library - yay!) I think I will be able to focus more on praying for people (I have time!) and keeping up with correspondence. (Hook me up with your address or email address if you want a note!) Because I am only starting my second week, I haven't really thought through much more than that, but I know that I will be able to do so much more because my job mostly requires that I am present (I answer phones and monitor the entryways, plus a few other smaller things), so I am able to fill my time as I wish (mostly). It has given me a lot of time to think - which I don't mind, being a thinker! - and I am relishing this time that God has provided me to spend with Him and to be able to be still and listen to Him.
And, making no promises, I think I will be able to blog more again... I have so much to say but sometimes not a lot of time to say it, and now, I think I will have more time! I have a few things to say about obedience... God has shown me some really good things this past week and if I wasn't obedient to His gentle nudging, I would have missed out!
Enjoy your Tuesday, my friends.
Grace and peace,
Melissa
